I'm finally getting my college diploma.

Even though I walked with my graduating class in 2005 and technically graduated in May 2007 after completing the lousy 3 credits I needed to complete my coursework, I never actually received my diploma. Boy, oh boy did that grate on Daddy's nerves. He didn't understand why I didn't take the 3 credit course earlier and he didn't understand why I didn't just pay the balance on my account to get my diploma. He bothered me about it relentlessly, it was a constant in every conversation we had and a source of much irritation between the two of us. But i get it, he was proud of me and he just wanted to make sure that I received the fruits of my labor. He knew how much work had gone into the degree and how much money he and I both would put into tuition and loans. It's one of those old school things, I think, having a diploma. It symbolizes your hardwork and dedication towards a goal. It was important to him, not so important to me. Turns out I didn't even need to pay the balance on my account to get the diploma. Apparently, I could have had it about a year ago. Wish i had known that. Wish I had made that phone call before today. Wish he had gotten to see my diploma. My fucking diploma. It means nothing to me but it meant so much to him and I never got it for him. I'm sorry. It's a really small, seemingly inconsequential thing but it mattered to him. And i know he wasn't mad at me but why didn't I just do it for him? Everything he did to get me where I'm at today and I couldn't make a phone call? Pay a bill? He busted his ass for years to make sure that Siobhan and I (and later Cory, Therese, and Maryanne) went to good, Catholic schools where we were sure to be taught the right things. Years of walking us to school early in the morning and rushing home after late nights at work to pick us up from the after school program. Making sure we finished our homework before we watched television of palyed video games. Keeping us properly nourished so we could be attentive and learn properly. Constantly correcting our speech and grammar so we could express ourselves professionally. Teaching us things that we wouldn't learn in school or that were being taught in much higher grades. I am who I am because of him. I can't stress it enough. I was made in my father's image and I constantly strive to live up to that. I don't even know if it's possible, but I owe it to him to try. He dedicated everything he had to me. I'm sorry I didn't get the diploma earlier Daddy. But I'll have it in a week.